Dont worry, I’m looking for the funny to write as per normal for a Rally preview. It
s hard to think when I have Disturbed blasting form the speakers, wakign the neigbours and probably getting complaints of noise pollution. Wait, knock on the door, be right back.
Edit : WTF, there’s a Ford Focus outside. What the hell is going on?
In a vain attempt to show that the “Luck” of Citroen and Loeb is not some sort of pact with Begark, deity of Chickens, the deliberate mistakes of Finland have been found out and the FIA have ordered that all chickens be banned from service parks. However, it is reported of strange rituals and chanting being doen in the back of the Citroen service truck and the suspicious amount of dolls with needles sticking out of them.
Petter Solberg, complaining of back pains, has been seen with a cute Norwegian (aka his wife), nude while olive oil is rubbed into his loins. Atkinson accidentally walked in and has been sent to his room without dinner. Hence, in a hissy fit Atkinson wins the rally and gets allowed to play in the sand pit with the other children as a reward
Loeb learns how to give an interview without using 6 million “ummmm”‘s and comes second. A relaxed Petter Solberg comes third or first, whichever way you think about it.
Marcus Gronholm, looking relaxed and happy is fourth inexplicably. When asked, Malcolm Wilson states that the entire team is hung over from an all night orgy that went on just a bit too long and thence they havent sobered up enough to see straight, let alone maintain a rally car.
As Mikko Hivornen is comatose most of the time anyway, no one notices that he is asleep in the trailer and a subsitute from Australia is used in his place. Nice car is the Ford. And Marcus has some groupies with huge…. traits of land.
Danny Sordo comes fifth when 16 cars ahead of him either crash or inexplicably explode.
Toshi Arai comes sixth and the entire nation of Japan is burnt down in celebration as a result.
Gigi Galli fails to punch someone. He is charged with bringing the sport into repute and fined 50,000 Euros – or a deathmatch with Mike Tyson. Mike Tyson runs away scared and Galli wins by default.