Hello, welcome and good evening to the first edition of Alliance Motorsport’s much despised and very badly typed Rally Predictions for 2008!
Unfortuntly toward the end of 2007, the unholy powers of Sebastian Loeb came to the fore and sent Marcus Gronholm into a wall in Ireland, meaning that it would take a Act of Supreme Deitylike proportion for the Finn to take his third title. As we all know, whatever pact Loeb signed for his soul has proven too powerful for anything facing him and yet again he acsended to the top of the pile of his defeated foes and FIA officaldom, planted the Citroen flag in their rotting corpses and claimed their blood to fest on. Or to use in some Begarkic ritual involving goats and virgins. Even with Haggers about, the egmatic Frenchman found an unmolested goat.
And so….. we come to 2008 and woudl someone PLEASE find a way to beat this bloody guy already? It makes doing these predictions boring and wanting for me to feed myself into a tree mulcher…. or…..
(Editorial advice suggests a Heath Ledger joke mixed with TISM is probably… goign a bit too far. But go on admit it. The more sick and depraved of you lot know EXACTLY the one : )
AHEM. Yes, well. That might explain these deluded rantings.
Our rally spies for the 68353 running of the Rally of Monte Carlo (Two Pelicans and a bloated cow) have reported cold conditions and a rebellion against the UnHoly powers of Loeb. A full drivers strike is rumoured, with distressed drivers finally having enough at the unfair Deity advantage Loeb has. Not to be deterred, Sebastian challenged everyone to a farting joke contest, where no deity would dare go, especially with an open flame.
Much to everyone’s horror, Sebastian Loeb goes back in time and cuts some magnificent cheese, the results recorded thus…
Disturbed that Loeb would cheat and use Google, Mikko Hirvonen uses his 1337 Youtube skills to find…
Much impressed with this one, Gigi Galli, the newest driver for VKStobart found this that Scientology havent claimed copyright over….
But not to be outdone, Chris Atkinson found a true classic….
But not to be outdone, Petter Solberg finds a farting dinosaur!
Oh stuff it yes. You worked me out. I just wanted to post fart jokes Our spies havent said a damn thing and we’re making crap up. For what it’s worth, Loeb’s grip on the Monte will remain unbroken, Danny Sordo will still have no fans and still be second, Mikko third and maybe Solberg (Petter or Henning) forth. Subaru will still suck and be befouled by all manner of incredible gremlins that really do point at a Deity being malicious now, what with a turbo getting a cold and snotting on mechanics.
I kinda hoping for something different and for someone to take the place of Marcus Gronholm for quotable quotes. What a marvellous straight talker he was.
Well… whatever happens, it’s great to see actual rallying going on instead of watching the present ARC meltdown. See you on a secret torrent site somewhere, madly downloading footage!