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Thursday, May 14, 2009

FIA PRESS RELEASE – 2010 CONTROL TYRES

PRESS RELEASE

DATED 13/05/2009

FIA ANNOUNCES NEW CONTROL TYRE FOR WRC

In an move that is sure to bring in the hairdresser crowd, the FIA handed down a shock winner for the 2010 tyre supply contract.

“We are pleased to announce The Facility for Abnormal Renal Turbulence has been declared the new supplier of the World Arally Championship for 2010″ FIA head Gimp Max Mosley said. “We are most impressed with the technology of the Facility to produce the new FART GAS rally tyre. And could you just whip me just a big lower? Say…. Oooooh yesssss”

“Unlike other one make tyre suppliers, FART GAS will be supplied in various compounds – from SBD (Silent But Deadly), Cheek Vibrator, Whistle Window Rattler, depending on the event and the food we had the night before production” said head of technology CatFi Vee. “And best of all, spectators can savor all of these as the cars come past – we think it will be something that is missing from the sport, the ability to smell FART GAS has been lacking ever since they mandated washing and clean clothes at spectator points after the end of the Group B era”

While some drivers approved of the new choice, others are not so sure.

“How will… ummm… this affect my…. good looks and ummm…. range of aftershave… and ummmmm personal deoderant?” asked Sebastian Loeb, voted 5 times in a row best smelling man in Rallying. “I am rather ummmm concerned”

“You know, when you are out in the middle of the forest, hung over and tired, there is nothing like the sound of a car roaring past and the lingering smell of rotten eggs and cabbage. Yes, I think it is a good idea” said Marcus Gronholm.

Sales of FART GAS will begin late this year

posted by admin at 8:43 pm  

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