Antilag

Random rubbish from the motor sport world

Monday, October 19, 2015

Oh WRC wimps and Rally Groupies

 

FOR IMMDEDIATE RELASE – From the desk of Alliance Motorsport’s evil Overlord Greenie the Budgie

Debate and outrage flowed through the rally community as an Internet Slap Fight has begun between WRC drivers and Alliance Motorsport’s own Kaptain Ballistik over the night stage at this year’s Rally Australia. Rally fans and teams have been taking sides, based on wether they think dust will spoil their makeup.

“BUt look at me! I’m a prety boy, how can I be expected to drive my air conditioned car in anything looking like dust? I’ll get dirrrrty!” An unnamed Ford driver wailed. “I broke a nail last week and it really made me look ugly until the team’s nail doctor fixed it for me. And what about our vegan carefulyl prepared dietry controlled meals if I get a bit of grit in it? I’ld have consumed .5 of a calorie too much, I’d have to stick my fingers down my throat and puke it to maintain my looks!”

Former RSN gormless corespondant Flat in Fith agreed. “How an we have these prima donna drivers actually…. get dirty? You’ll enxt be saying there would be mud and…. ewwww! How can you put such horror on our highly paid professsional athletes these days? They have to spend so long at the salon to look good in front of the cameras…. we dont want to go back five years to the drunken swill of Petter Solberg, I mean…. even Sebastian Loeb like dirty girls! How can we have such animals in the sport anymore????”

After spending the evening in the shed building the WRC Tank, Kaptain Ballistik was less than amused.

“Dust? That’s just fog with dirt in it, go harder!” he said. “If Michelle Mouton could drive a 600hp Audi in the dark and dust, then these so called pros can put up with getting grit under the fingernails, what would Colin McRae think?”

McRae it is believe is spinning so fast in his grave, a generator has been hooked up and he is currently able to power a small city.

Michele Mouton, the worlds greatest female driver of all time whose name we are barely worth to mention, who drove Group B cars in the dark and walls of dust, who we are not worthly to speak of let alone grovel in her presense is said to have laughed at the current generation of so called WRC drivers at how lacking in the downstairs department they are. “What is this? WRC Drivers not man enough to handle a little bit of dirt?” she said. “Next they will be saying they dont drink…. wait…. you are kidding? They dont drink??? How can you have a rally without drunken debauchery???”

Last seen, Mouton was last seen breaking into the Audi museum to fire up her old car to kick the current crop of WRC driver’s asses.

Other ex WRC legends were too ashamed of the threats of dirty stage boycott to comment.

Meanwhile a large group of semi pro and amateur drivers have all lined up to replace any WRC driver who doesnt wish to get dirty and also bang a few of the long disappointed ex Petter Solberg groupies, who have found the current WRC drivers highly unsatisfying, manicuring hands rather than getting down and dirty.

Applications to be part of a real WRC crew who dont give a damn about dirt or air conditioning will be opened by Alliance Motorsport early next year. Petter Solberg Rally Groupies are most welcome.

posted by admin at 7:38 pm  

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Not ded yet

Yes, we are still about. A bit quiet but we have had some things to attend to. Like go to Finland and watch rally cars do stupid things.

But right now to be honest I’m watching hte US Presidential election, like pretty much everyone else int he world. GWBush is nearly gone. Thank the Lord. Now if the fuckign retards who voted Republican dont vote and the Democrats comeout in numbers…. the GOP needs a damn good ass kickign and their hard core supporters a dose of reality to see just how dumb they are.

And if you voted Republican and liked Sarah Palin – fuck off. You are fucked up and we dont want to see your stupid face ever around here. This place may be inhabited by insane peoples but we aint fucking morons.


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posted by admin at 10:36 pm  

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

That was a lot of Words

Hey dude I thought we were here to beat the piss out of cars.

Here is what really needed to be said:

“Just Chillax and be Cool.”

posted by admin at 12:56 pm  

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Right of Reply

And as the WRC has taken it’s midyear break, the question now becomes…. what do we do with this shit we have here? Do we just go to sleep for a few months and resurface for Finland?

Now, if your a reader (and somehow, I see in the stats that there are, so thank you all – now why dont you comment or join us at Antilag Forums and talk about crap? We wont bite…. much. And we’re a pretty good bunch of knowledgable rally crews and racers so you know we aren’t the usual wankers that pollute most internet sites. Well vl3ltr is a wanker but that’s because his missus dont put out.

So, what on earth do blog about when the WRC is on holiday? That’s pretty much the question that I actually didnt give a damn about until tonight when I was in church, listening to some guy get me fucking furious from his pulpit. Now, I suppose for most of you who dont believe in what a few of the Alliance do, that may sound like common practice – and believe me, I know there’s lots Christians and others who have a ‘faith’ of some kind do to make us all pissed off. In fact Christians in general piss me off and I guess I identify myself as one so dear Atheists, Buddists, Hindus, Muslims and Sikhs or whatever, I share some of your concerns. I think most of you are screaming hypocrites and dont understand your own faith too, so accusations Christians have no idea are more of the fact humans in general just don’t know WTF, except for the day to day things that directly concern them. Especially Atheists. I have never met more up themselves, arrogant, hypocritical pack of outright dickheads outside of hard core atheism, who think they have some sort of special insight into the world and have to force their view on everyone, which is exactly the same as you accuse other religious groups of doing. Wake up you hypocrites, you actually MAKE me want to believe in something to piss you off because of your festering hatred to those who just have the crime of not seeign the world from your ‘exalted’ point of view.

Your wisdom is just foolishness, branded as science and rationalism. However you call it, it’s foolishness and wrong. And that’s even if you don’t believe in a God!

(As an aside, I added the new tag of ‘Troll’, because this is what this is at it’s heart)

Now be that as it may, my post tonight is not about that, altho feel free to discuss and try to prove me wrong. What this is about is Dr Gilbert Anger and his message at Nepean Baptist on the 17th of June 2007.

I myself am no Baptist. I find some of the things said from the Baptist pulpit I simply dont agree with, just like Pentcostals also do the same thing. And Catholic and Anglican and Uniting and the list goes on. However, I do not deny that the teaching is far better than in other places and in fact more real in the way Pastor Hill and the others in that church live their lives and act. I have seen this and this is why I stay. I also sense the Holy Spirit is there and has power – there is a real closeness to the Lord that I feel is leading those whom are there. They also, most amazingly, actually don’t care if I’m divorced. Do you people realize how rare that is in a church? That fact alone makes me stay. Yes, I am divorced. I also happen to believe in the Lord and Jesus. Does that deserve to make me shunned? No. My sin is between me and the Lord and I will tell you, sin is the root cause of why I’m single. However as I said, that’s for me to deal with and ask the Lord to forgive me for, not anyone else and Nepean Baptist seem to get that important fact.

Well tonight I think the difference between the genuine people of Nepean and Dr Anger is apparent.

I do not disagree with Dr Anger’s main points. yes, we need a fracking stick of dynamite put under the backsides of the church. Yes, we should not be scared to stand alone against everyone, when the truth of out message is not welcome. Yes, we should say it as it is. Yes, we should be giving the truth to others. Yes, if you dont do something out of the ordinary, the extraordinary cant happen. Yes, Get on the Lord’s wavelength and hear what He says. yes, we dont need programs, seminars and such because the Bible IS all the program we need. Yes, we should dare to want the Fire of the Lord and yes we should dare to be hurt by it. Yes, we shouldnt get angry with outhers, we should win them to Christ instead…. but mate you have a serious issue.

You even touched on it yourself. You said, rightly that today’s youth are on the Internet. That they do not pick up the Bible instead of opening Myspace. That the Internet has much evil on it. Sir, I know these things much better than just about anyone in this world, because I helped create parts of it, I mantain parts of it, I know the people who lurk on it. I spend far too much time on it, like you said and I will admit I am guilty of not reading enough of the Lord’s word.

But Dr Anger, let me tell you the reason why no one preaches from street corners, no one hardly door knocks, no one leaves traicts is that NO ONE LISTENS IN THOSE PLACES. We have had so much shoved into areas that used to be effective that a street preacher, as much as I love hearing one, is no longer effective. Our youth are no longer ON the streets in the main, if you want the truth. The world has changed and the fact that you have no idea what Google even is nor a spyware popup, nor do you seem to want to, tells me you just dont understand why your message is just not relavent to the youth. Tonight, you spoke to what.. fifty people? I speak tonight to potentially millions. Your words only lasted as I wrote them down. Mine last as long as this website exists and with Google caching, maybe much longer than that.

Do you see the problem now? The youth of today arent interested in your message because… THEY ARENT ABLE TO HEAR IT.

Sir, the Lord can move in ways you dont accept. He has always made those whom He calls His people the most uncomfortable with what He does. He tries us and refines us in ways that you would not believe. I will tell you that my faith became stronger when faced with divorce because I chose to accept the Lord’s strength and I am not going to deny it. The saying the Lord moves in mysterious ways is perfectly true and He moves and does things that would be offensive to you. John Paul II, a man the Baptists villify in his later years I suggest became a true Man of the Lord and of Christ and I am willign to say that John Paul is with the Lord and because of his faith that lead to his works, has a mighty place. Yes, he is a Catholic Pope. Yes, you think they are wrong. I am telling you I know Catholics that have faith, true faith that would put most to shame.

I am telling you I know Pentcostals and Charismatics who know and understand that the Lord has power and gifts for us and use them in ways that make grown men fall to their knees and weep for the Lord’s forgiveness and mercy, so powerful is the Truth they serve.
I am tellign you that if you do not use every tool you have availible, you are not reaching every single person you can who is lost. And was this not one of your other points tonight?

The Internet is a bad place but frankly Dr Anger, it is also an amazing tool. Use it, ask the Lord for the power it can command, reach out and touch others with it! Use it’s ability to communicate one on one with the reader somewhere far, far away, use it to bring the Word, use it to bless, to teach, to prophecy, to be whatever you want it to be. A computer is just a tool sir. Just because you dont understand it doesnt mean it does not have real use and real power.You doubt my truth that I have said? Take it to the Lord and open your heart. Test me Sir. I dare you to. If I am wrong, then so be it, but it is up to you to prove it so.

I will tell you a story of this power. I have recently, much to my surprise been talking via Internet to a woman. she is hurt, she is broken, she is lost. She needs someone because the person she thought she had did one of the biggest bastard acts I have heard of and left her alone when she needs his support the most. For some reason that I dont know why, the Lord has seen it fit that she and I have been talking over our lives lately and I have no idea what I mean to her and I’m sure I want to know, but she has made me realize that I am human, that I have a life, that I am more than whom I thought I was and that I WANT to be all that I truly can be. The instant she began to talk… I knew everything had changed. I felt it in the air, I felt it in my soul. Something that was holding me back is now gone and I can laugh and cry like I used to. This is a precious gift and one I hope I treasure for many years.

This is the power that you have decried. You have decried the power to change the lives of those thousands of kilometers away. You could have….. millions! affected by what you have to say. Instead, you have chosen not to have it.

Dr Anger, I pray that one day you see what I have seen, that you touch others, that you can teach and create something via the Internet in ways you didn’t think possible. I pray that you would instead of driving men to anger, that they see somethign that you have they want. I pray that you realise that it is not courage your missing men lack, it is the truth and the urgency of the Truth, that you do not speak in ways that the young men will become passionate for the cause of Christ.

D o you see my passion Dr Anger?

Do not tell me that there are women who want men of courage to guide them into the mission field. Do not give me your barely supported place of women in society. Jesus freed women from subervience and your words do not ring true. women in fact CAN lead and be stronger than you imagine they should be. Do not try to shame me with your ‘list’ of women looking for men. *I AM* a man and I reject your words on this subject.

I am moreover a Watchman. You would know Ezekiel 3:17? “Son of man, I have made thee a watchman unto the house of Israel: therefore hear the word at my mouth, and give them warning from me.”? That’s whom I am. I am not a good one but Sir, listen to my word. I do not say that it is of the Lord – but I will tell you that you need to hear this. All whom reject the power of the Internet for communication and directness need to hear this. Harness it before you lose those whom can be reached by it.

Finally, to a woman a long, long way away – I’m thinking of you. And thank you from the bottom of my heart – even if I was a cold, heartless bastard tonight. I AM a cold heartless bastard, truth be told deep down. And I dont want you in my life because I have things to do and paths to go that dont allow that sort of thing – but I’m glad I’ve still got something that isn’t the bastard still.

I’ve made my choice and my choice is Ezekiel 3:17

posted by admin at 10:02 pm  

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