Day 1, Rally Greece
And in rally news, organisers and fans are in shock and needed medical help after Marcus Gronholnm on his skateboard has actually not only managed to finish a day but also in fact be in the lead.
“My legs are a bit tired but I had a good day, you know its hot and I need a beer as well as …. now why cant I have Petter’s gorupies? All I get is these fat guys on the Internet who think I’m a legend, but this is no good! I want nubile women with huge breasts… but yes it was good day oon skateboard” he commented.
Petter Solberg also amazed rally fans when his Subaru Impreza WRC 2006 not only finished an day but was in second place. Petter immediatly threw a wild party to celebrate and was last seen buried under Norwegian females.
Third was Sebastian Loeb, driving his car under remote control.
“It was ummmm a challenging day. It is ummmmm hard to drive while ummmm your balls are being rubbed by a ummmmmm Asian lady but mmm it was good, very good. We ummmm do well” At which point the reporter fell asleep under the effects of Loeb’s Anti Charisma field.
The only driver to have problems today was Subaru’s young Australian Christopher Atkinson the Third, celebrating his fourth birthday. His booster cushion was swapped for a whoopie cushion at the start of stage 3, which he didnt notice until midway into the stage.
“Mother fucker Petter had it on mother fucking timer the the cunt. Five km in and Glenn thought I was shitting my bowels out. That cunt Petter, he knows I cant reach the fucking pedals. I’m soo going to bite him on the knee caps!”
Day two of Rally Greece continues tommorrow