Random rubbish from the motor sport world

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

SupeRally…. errrr….. wait a sec….

Look in the sky! It’s a Bird! no, it a plane! No it’s Max Mosley’s Outdoor Dunny!!

Able to leap logic in a single bound, an excuse to give service crew even more work and Uncle Ted’s tow truck service a few kick backs in extracting cars from the forest. FIA president Max Mosley denied all reports of illegal bribery from Uncle Ted, rumoured to be a bottle of Old Red and two hookers. Max Mosley did not comment for this article

The last day most excellent adventures of the Swedish Chef (aka Bill and Ted) who abused Max Mosley’s outdoor dunny rules to gain the Upper Mongolia rally championhip highlighted the influence of this rule on Uncle Ted’s pocket as well as titles that His Royal Highness, The King Of Upper Mongolia Max Mosley bequeaths of those less fortunate than him ie : everyone.

On the Prince of Free Willy Rally of Greater Upper Mongolia, the national championship and also the winner of the Bitsaremissing mentally challenged driving award was also decided by a quick visit around the back of Max Mosley’s outdoor dunny. It is also well noted this dunny was visited by many of this year’s champions, Sebastian Loeb making a particularly long distance pit stop in the Monte Carlo rally, finishing strongly after a dodgy vindaloo the night before. A third title decided by a visit to Max’s outdoor dunny was the size of the winner’s cheque book, awarded to the WRC’s Production car champoin with a bid of 7 million dollars and his nubile 18 year old sister.

The future looks bright for Max’s Dunny. The FIA have now harsher rules for anyone who leaves skid marks on the polished gold bowl. Furthermore, anyone who aims badly while peeing gets 10’000 volts to the testicles, with the expectation more teams will be visiting the dunny after a hard night out at the pub, thence adding more significance to waiting times to drive Max’s porcelain bus. A second dunny should be added early in 2007 to help with the line up.

On the portable Max’s Dunny that is now part of all regional championships, a new rule about butt wiping has been introduced, that a lemon scented roll of toilet paper be provided at all times and a slave to clean the bowl with his toungue after every use.

Thence, the question must be asked, is Max’s Dunny actually of any use to us? F1 drivers refuse to use it, preferring Bernie’s Platinum Dunny with inbuilt heating and a comely lass that squirts warm water over the driver’s buttocks after they finish unloading. Last year Chris Atkinson was the main user of Max’s Dunny, while this year Matthew Wilson seemed to suffer a lot from irritable Bowel Syndrome (Probably from his father’s boot being so frequently booting his bum for wrecking another car) visited Max’s Outdoor Dunny 33 times, at least once every rally, which given the Dunny is in England is quite an achievement. Wilson also somehow managed to finish all 16 rallies, which must be some sort of a miracle, given how many times he was heard groaning in the Dunny (and often blocking said Dunny with something that looked suspiciously like a work boot) and Malcolm Wilson was seen buying yet another set of shoes while muttering nasty things.

posted by admin at 6:32 pm  

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